About Me
Hi, I’m Pallabi, a sex, intimacy, and relationship coach who works with individuals and couples wanting to (re)turn to intimacy, connection, and pleasure, during or after navigating life transitions.
Out of my head, into my body: When life asked me to pause and listen
Over the last two decades, life has repeatedly asked me to rethink what intimacy means to me.
Moving from India to Germany in my twenties, navigating cross-cultural relationships, sharing life with neurodivergent partners, enduring long periods of sexual disconnection, experiencing multiple heartbreaks, exploring non-monogamy, struggling to trust my body after an inaccurate infertility diagnosis, grappling with body image issues, questioning myself after changing my career trajectory, suffering from anxiety and depression, and supporting my grieving partner after his father’s loss.
It took me a while to pay attention, but I realised that these were invitations to slow down and ask myself:
How has my relationship to intimacy, desire, and pleasure shifted when life changed me in ways I was not always prepared for?
In my years of talk-based therapy (CBT and Psychodynamic Therapy), I explored my childhood traumas, attachment patterns, and the ways I learned to protect myself when things felt uncertain or painful.
I became more self-aware, but I still felt stuck in familiar patterns, especially during times of conflict in my relationships.
I wanted to have a better relationship with myself - not just to understand myself, but also to feel different in my body and in my relationships.
It was during my intensive and experiential training as a sex & relationship coach at the Somatica Institute (California) that something began to shift deeply.
I began learning how to move out of my head and into my body. To notice bodily sensations and my triggers. To honour the needs of my inner child and my nervous system’s capacity. To find more pleasure that feels nourishing and authentic to me. To meet myself with less shame and more compassion. To learn better communication with my partner and to work on repairing post-rupture.
I finally gave myself the permission to let my body lead instead of being hijacked by my spiraling thoughts.
Body-first awareness is now a pivotal part of my healing, both individually and within my marriage.
Finding my Pleasure & Purpose: From Academia to Sex & Relationship Coaching
Before commencing my Somatica training, I was an Assistant Professor at Heidelberg University, and I had completed my PhD in anthropology, researching pregnancy loss and grief. My conversations with nearly 100 people revealed how these experiences gradually but deeply eroded emotional and physical intimacy, both with themselves and with their partners.
I also wrote my MPhil thesis on menopause and ageing women’s sexuality, and I hold certifications in counseling and mental health first aid.
Long before Somatica, I had been immersed in deepening my understanding of life transitions, losses, and the often subtle yet profound shifts they bring to intimacy.
In hindsight, becoming a sex & relationship coach emerged as a natural progression, woven from years of personal experiences, academic expertise, and my lifelong commitment to gaining a deeper understanding of intimacy, gender, sexuality, and human relationships.
My work as a sex, intimacy, & relationship coach lights up my body, mind, and soul with pleasure and purpose.
I have found my ikigai.
And I am here to gently support you in rediscovering the kind of intimacy, connection, and pleasure that feels honest to and nourishes who you are now.